I know I haven't been around in a long time...okay, over a year. I know, I know, I know. I'm sorry, things have been hectic to say the least and I'll be the first to admit that the last thing that I've thought about as of late is the computer.

First and foremost, I found out last June that I was pregnant and gave birth to a handsome baby boy, Ryder Lee, on December 20th. He was 6lbs 8oz, and 19 inches long. Finding out that I was pregnant was a huge shock and sent me into a major depression. Thankfully, I managed to get out of the funk before Ryder was born. I was due to deliver on January 8th, however due to finding preeclampsia in my 36th week checkup, we had to induce at 37 weeks. Not fun. Long story, but the short of it is I ended up with an emergency c-section after more than 20 hours of labor with no progression. Unfortunately, Ryder ended up with a collapsed right lung, air holes in both lungs, was hypoxic and had acidosis (bad spelling, I know on both words, sorry.) from lack of oxygen (the cord was wrapped around his neck, which is why the labor wasn't progressing.) He was stuck on my pelvic bone for those 20+ hours and had a severe hemotoma (I know, I can't spell medical words!) from that. He had pooped in his water and had more lung and stomach issues from the merconium....*sigh* It was rough at best. He spent a long time in the NICU. (And technically at 37 weeks was still considered a premie.)



Anyway, fast forward to today and he's a healthy, happy, normal 9 month old. No lasting effects from anything that happened during delivery or just after. We had a lot of problems with eating and gaining weight (was only 13lbs at 6 months old...still wore 0-3 month clothing...but he's now starting into 6-9 month clothing, so we're doing better. His weight gain is going much better now that we were able to find a formula that he could handle and started eating solid foods.

Jeremy and I are still together, although just barely. Since Ryder was born we've had a lot of problems. Mainly that I'm doing all of the work and he just sits around when he's home from work and doesn't do a whole lot of anything. So I've been pretty angry with him....which has caused a lot of fights as of late. We are trying to work things out for the sake of Ryder. We both come from single parent families and don't want Ryder to have to suffer the same fates that we did. I hope that we can work things out. I do love him....as much as I hate him sometimes, I do love him and I hope that is what will help us stay together. Although, I don't know how much love can bandaid all the things that have gone wrong with us. Maybe...

My art and work has suffered a great deal since I haven't been online in about a year and a half. *sigh* I was doing great. When I found out I was pregnant I was in the top 30 at Renderosity. That's went down the tubes now and I'm going to have to start from scratch all over again. I did it to myself, so I have to suffer with it. It's no one else's fault but my own. Damn that depression.

I hope things are well with all of you guys. I really am sorry that I haven't been around in the past year and a half. Hopefully, I'll find a little more time to catch up with everyone soon.